February 2012
1 post
January 2012
3 posts
“I will try to know you though you defy my grasp.”
One Sentence Love Story →
This inspires me to write.
Last week I planned to write my favorite post of the whole year: what I did this year to make it significant. Then I got into a physical fight with my 20 year old sister (who has always been more important to me than I like to admit) and was threatened by her 34 year old gun toting “boyfriend” (quotations because the relationship is not real). All of a sudden, everything I claimed as...
December 2011
4 posts
“And because I was weak, I began to cry. Then I saw this turtle swimming to the...”
– Amy Tan, The Joy Luck Club
“And there’s so much you could learn but you don’t want to know. You...”
– Spoon, “The Underdog.”
“Squint your eyes and look closer. I’m not between you and your ambition.”
“Optimism is a strategy for making a better future. Because unless you believe...”
– Noam Chomsky (via whimsicalele)
November 2011
2 posts
Things I do when I'm stressed about school.
(Based entirely on this week.)
Try to find a way to eat pancakes every day.
Panic about my bike being stolen before realizing I didn’t ride it to school.
Overdress for work to make up for the disheveled mess I am during school.
Spend an unnecessary amount of time trying to figure out how to take a nap while still getting everything done.
Make really sound decisions about my life and...
Edit the sad parts.
Hi.
It’s been a while. I’ve been scared of this screen. I had to confront the fact that I am no more or less than my angst. Let’s be honest- is there a such thing as nice angst? No, there isn’t. And I know I’m angsty. (Kind of a word.) I always have been. But I guess I’m not comfortable with the label. Rather, I guess I’m not comfortable with anyone else...
October 2011
4 posts
You wanted a hit.
This is what happens when I try to blog:
If you need clarification, nothing happens. I stare at the screen and try to recall all of the hilarious and original thoughts (…) I had during the day. After about five minutes of staring at the screen, pondering a good title for blank text, and choosing the best song to listen to while writing nothing, I either give up or save what little I have...
Sometimes my moments of clarity are so unappealing that I wish to turn them off.
To say that I am confused right now would be such a gross understatement. Disappointed, shocked, sad, angry. All will do, but not independent of each other.
And yet, as the minutes pass, I realize that I must have known it all along.
September 2011
2 posts
TUMBLR- I miss you so. Be right back.
“So I walk like I’m on a mission because that’s the way I groove....”
– Ani DiFranco
August 2011
24 posts
“Dear, dear! How queer everything is today! And yesterday things went on just as...”
– Alice in Wonderland
Sum up summer.
Today marks my last day of a very tumultuous but rewarding summer. Tomorrow I start my second/maybe third (based on credits) and LAST senior year of college in unbearable, nap inducing heat. Is the fall semester ready for my summer bones?
This summer I..
paid rent for an apartment I spent 3 nights in all summer.
traveled out of the country for the first time. I spent an amazing two winter weeks...
Take another picture with your click, click, click, click camera.
“I only want to spend my time with you. I only want to do what you want to do....”
– Miniature Tigers (life imitates art.)
And at once I knew-- I was not magnificent.
I just stare at screens. I think and worry and get too distracted by my surroundings but when I think I should finally make sense out of all of it, I just stare at screens. Or paper. Or faces.
I am trying to hold on to these last tiny drops of summer with everything I’ve got because I am not ready for my academic life to exist again. I love being uprooted by new ideas, but I do not like...
“Now I am quietly waiting for the catastrophe of my personality to seem beautiful...”
– Frank O’Hara
I have a list of things to write about. I want to tell stories about my summer (or lack thereof) and all the different ways in which my mind has progressed. There are silly metaphors I have stored away to describe things that are too nerve wracking to put in real words. My time has been filled with such mindless activities that anything that requires concentration feels daunting. Therefore.....
Prologue.
Yeah, I’m a tortured soul- so what? I am not a naturally happy person. I don’t trust easily, or usually at all. I read too far into meaningless words. I would rather be alone half the time. I don’t laugh at things I don’t think are funny. I agonize over trivial decisions. I don’t make friends with fake people, and I don’t engage in forced conversation....
July 2011
5 posts
I hope I wake up tomorrow and the temperature is actually the low for the day instead of the high.
TUMBLR— I am having a hard time hanging out with you lately. Soon, we will share cupcakes and words. I have a lot to say, and few ways to say it..
“So don’t stay mad. Just let some time pass. And in the morning...”
ES SO ES SO-- feeling free.
I am no longer going to sit on my feelings. Initially, this will provoke unnecessary tears, but my hope is to once again be strong and vocal in my opinions, distrusts, and desires. I am so adamant about the things I want, need, and deserve, but only in my mind. I can’t continue to be proud of a dominant personality I no longer possess. So, just give me a minute to retrieve it.
Who wants a...
I am comforted by the sounds of trains when I can’t sleep at night.
June 2011
2 posts
“But these are days we dream about when the sunlight paints us gold. And this...”
– (told you I’d do it.)
Argentina bound today. All airport nerves have given way to excitement. I love watching the way new things work. Tomorrow, at this time, I will be exploring a new land with an old love. I AM SO EXCITED.
May 2011
17 posts
Well, I guess it’s summer again.
Right now, I am “suffering” from the very rare problem of having too much to say. I have been trying to write for days. Everything is a jumble. I’ll say a few short things. Also, I organize by numbers now. It’s much easier than trying to tie irrelevant paragraphs together. (Summer..)
1. I am ready for June so I can incessantly quote “The Difference in the...